


Keep My Heart Beating (Hunter x Hunter fanfiction)

by Kirbydesu248



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Adventure, Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Hurt, Phantom - Freeform, Race, Rescue, Revenge, Save, Torture, Violence, after series, cry, fight, heal, insecure, kidnap, phantom troupe, time skip, troupe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-11 16:43:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10469559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirbydesu248/pseuds/Kirbydesu248
Summary: It's been 2 years since the end of the anime. Gon and Killua are finally reuniting, along with their friends. Gon is looking forward to the ruinion. But Killua is harboring dark thoughts. And when the Troupe emerges again and Killua is swept up in one of their plots, will Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio be able to save him in time? Slight language & violence warning. Review please!





	1. Chapter 1

So.. I'm breaking two of my big rules here: No songfics, and no switching POV's. But I came up with this idea and I'm interested to see how it's going to turn out. So review please! It's my first fanfic in a while so bear with me….

Obligatory Disclaimer: I do not own Hunter x Hunter (manga, 1999 anime, OVAs, movies, or 2011 reboot) I also do not own the song (Beginning by One Ok Rock).

…..

Keep My Heart Beating

…

**Just give me a reason**  
**To keep my heart beating**  
**Don't worry it's safe right here in my arms**  
**As the world falls apart around us**  
**All we can do is hold on, hold on**

**Take my hand**  
**And bring me back, yeah**

…

(Gon POV)

I'm running so fast that I can't breathe. Kurapika and Leorio are calling me, I know, but I can't stop. How could I be so stupid? After all of the times that Killua was there for me, I abandoned him. When he needed me most, I wasn't there. And now he's in trouble. Killua, the indestructible former assassin, could be dead. How could I have been so stupid?

"Damn it…" I lost the scent. I look around frantically, giving my friends time to catch up. Kurapika's eyes are a bright red, as they've been for the past few hours. Leorio looks a healthy mixture of worry and determination.

"Which way, Gon?" Leorio asks. Though he's the calmest of the trio, his voice trembles. I close my eyes so I can concentrate, focusing on the scent of my friend. The misty night air makes it hard to track him. But I feel a fragment of a smile reach my lips as I point North East and open my eyes.

"That way."

"Well let's go then. We don't have time to wait around." Leorio smirks confidently and starts running, gripping the ever-present briefcase. I grin and follow with Kurpika.

_Hold on, Killua. I'll bring you back. Just keep holding on._

….

(Killua POV; Earlier that morning)

"I can't wait to see, Gon! It's been so long, hasn't it, big brother?" I smile a little at Alluka, though I don't respond. All the training in the world can't make the nerves go away and I opt to keep my eyes on the road in front of us as we walk.

It's been almost two years since I've seen the person I once called my best friend. It's not like we aren't friends anymore. But time's changed us. Gon found Ging. He found his dad. The whole purpose of him taking the Hunter Exam in the first place. And I left with Alluka- partly because I wanted to protect her, but partly because I didn't want to get in the way. The truth is that Gon and I never had any intention of making friends at the exam. We were good for each other back then. But it was only a temporary thing. That's it. At least that's what I tell myself in order to feel better about the whole thing.

"Why are you so quiet, big brother? Aren't you excited?" the thirteen-year-old pouted at me. I sigh and close my eyes.

"Ecstatic." I kick a rock under my foot. I hear Alluka stop walking beside me. Opening an eye, I look toward her, stopping. "What?"

"Why are you being so weird? You've been moody all week!" She crosses her arms, frowning. I roll my eyes.

"I'm not moody. I'm just not looking forward to things being awkward."

"Awkward?" She tilts her head to the side. I sigh again.

"We've barely talked in two years, Alluka. Are we supposed to just pick up where we left off? Pillow fights? Adventures? We're too big for that stuff now. We're completely different now, I bet." I shrug, "I'm just not getting my hopes up."

"Oh…" Alluka frowns again. I ruffle her hair and smile at her.

"Let's get this over with, okay? Then we can do something fun." I grin at her, trying to get her to smile again. I don't like seeing her sad, especially when it's my fault. She smiles a bit.  
"Kay! Race you!" She starts sprinting towards the town where Gon and his dad are apparently living.

"Hey! Get back here!" I run after her, laughing.

...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

(Killua POV)

I'm standing in front of the door leading to Gon and Ging's apartment. I know Alluka's standing behind me and I can hear voices inside, talking and laughing. But my hand just won't move. My heart's hammering in my chest. _What's wrong with me?_

What's wrong is that I just don't want to be here. I'm not dreading the awkwardness like I told Alluka. I'm dreading seeing my best friend smiling and laughing. I'm dreading hearing his stories of his adventures without me. I'm dreading the confirmation that I was just there to help him find his dad. Confirmation that he doesn't need me anymore… like I need him.

I clench my fists to keep my hands from shaking. It's not like I can fool Alluka, but I don't want her to see that I'm worse than I let on. I can't back away from this. May as well get it over with. I knock on the door after taking a shaky breath and put together my usual grin. There's rustling around inside before the door flies open, revealing a beaming Gon.

"Killua!" I barely have time to process anything before I'm tackled on the ground in a hug. A familiar heat reaches my face as I struggle to get out from under him.

"I-Idiot! Cut it out! Get off of me!" I yell at him. He pulls back a bit, rubbing the back of his head, giggling.

"Sorry, it's just, you know, been awhile." I roll my eyes and he helps me up.

Standing in front of him, I smirk noticing I'm still taller than him by a good three inches. Though he definitely looks older. His voice is deeper too, which is weird. But I guess that's what happens when you don't see someone for two years. He's wearing jeans instead of those idiotic shorts and a green jacket similar to the one he used to wear. He tilts his head to the side, frowning.

"What?"

"I'm still taller than you." I grin. He puffs out his cheeks.

"Yeah, well my growth spirt hasn't hit yet!" I laugh, flicking his forehead.

"When's that gonna happen? Anytime in the next ten years?"

"Well… at least I don't still have baby fat on my cheeks!" He crossed his arms, sticking his tongue out. I felt my cheeks flare up again.

"I do not!"

"Do too!" He pinches one of my cheeks and I swat his hand away.

"Stop that!" I look over his shoulder, hearing laughing. Leorio and Kurapika stand in the doorway. They haven't changed much at all, then again they were a bit older than us to begin with. Now they just look slightly older.

"Hey, guys. Why don't we have something to eat?" Kurapika smiles, motioning us back to the door. Alluka skips ahead and starts talking to Leorio. Gon and I both blink at them.

"Ne, Killua. Race ya!" Gon grins at me.

"You're on!" I push him out of the way and run inside, laughing. _Okay, so maybe I was just being paranoid before._

My feet skid to a stop when I see Kurapika, Leorio, and Alluka sitting at the table with Ging. I feel my body tense again watching them all together. Gon apparently didn't see me stop because he slams into my back causing me to lose my balance and I turn to glare at him.

"Whaaaaaat?" He whines, rubbing his head, "Why'd you stop?"

"Just waiting for your slow ass." I try to say as deadpanned as possible, shoving my pockets so they don't shake. Gon frowns.

"I was right behind you!" I shrug. Gon huffs and starts walking toward the table, grinning again. For some reason I can't move again. _What if I don't belong there? I mean, Kurapika and Leorio seem to have met Ging already, and Alluka seems to be getting along with them. What if I'm an outsider?_ Gon frowns from his seat next to his dad. "Killua? Aren't you coming?"

"Uh, yeah. Sorry. I zoned out." I shake my head to get the thought out and force my feet to move to the empty seat on Gon's other side.

"Dad, this is my best friend, Killua! The one who helped me find you!" _Wait…Dad? Since when did he stop calling him Ging?_ I felt another pang. _Moron, he's been living with the guy for two years._

"It's nice to finally meet you, Killua. I've heard so much about you." The dead-beat-dad smiles at me. Okay, that's unfair. At least he's been making an effort lately.

"Um, yeah, same. Glad Gon finally found you." I avert my eyes a bit, feeling more and more like I shouldn't be here. Like I'm intruding on something.

Ging starts talking about some adventure, but I tune him out, picking at the food on my plate. I make sure to make eye contact with him and act like I'm listening so no one notices how uncomfortable I am.

"Isn't that really- hey! I didn't know you started eating red peppers, Killua!" Gon tilted his head.

"Huh?" I blink and the taste finally hits me. I cover my mouth and run to the sink, spitting it out. I can hear Gon and the others laughing and my face burns with embarrassment.

I trudge back to the table, looking down. Alluka's looking at me, I can feel it. _Don't say anything. Don't you dare say anything._ I eat the stir-fry (minus the red peppers this time), keeping my eyes down as Gon gabs away with his dad, oblivious as always. I can't blame him. He's excited to show off his dad.

"Ne, Killua!" Gon waves his hand in front of my face.

"Hm, what?" I notice everyone had been staring at me.

"Are you feeling alright, Killua? You've been quieter than usual." Kurapika asks, looking worried. _You mean like how I usually was two years ago?_ I shrug.

"It was just a long trip. I'm tired, that's all." And I am, so it's not a lie.

"Why don't you get some rest?" The blond asks again. I feel myself getting annoyed.

"I'm fine." If there's nothing I hate more, it's people treating me like I'm a kid.

"So… Oh! Killua! Do you want to play video games? I have the new Joystation 6!" Gon looks excited. My eyes widen.

"Seriously?! Those things went out of stock, like, a week after they went on sale!"

"Yup! It cost me a ton, but it was worth it!" Gon looks proud, "So you wanna play?"

"Hell yeah!" He laughs and gets up, running out of the room with me following close behind.

….

It is beautiful. The slick silver console looks nothing like it's first predecessor that we played Greed Island on all that time ago. Large and rectangular, discs, wireless controllers… And I can bet that the graphics are insane.

"Here!" Gon places a controller in my hand and I can't believe how light it is. Gon giggles. "You look like you won a lifetime supply of _Chocorobo kun_."

"Shut up. I never thought I'd see one of these things. Let alone play one." I sit on the ground in front of the TV as Gon gets the game set up, grinning like an idiot.

The screen comes to life, showing vivid colors and images and I'm in a trance. The game Gon chose is a fighting game. It takes me a bit to get a grasp on the controls so I lose the first two rounds.

"Wow, you suck, Killua!" Gon laughs as his character lands another hit on mine. I growl, glaring at the screen.

"It's not my fault you've had time to practice!" I win the next few rounds. _One more round and I win._ At this point the others have all started watching us.

"Mind if I take winner?" I freeze hearing Ging's voice behind me. My concentration slips for a fraction of a second- just long enough for Gon's character to hit the finishing punch.

"YES! I WIN! WOOHOO!" Gon jumps up and runs around cheering. I stare at the screen in shock before slowly getting up and handing the controller to Ging, not looking him in the eye.

"Here." I mutter before going to the couch, crossing my arms. Leorio raises an eyebrow at me and I glare back before watching the screen. The more I watch them, the less angry and the more hurt I feel. The two of them are having a blast, laughing and teasing each other. _He doesn't need me. He has his dad to have fun with._ I get up without saying anything and walk outside, sitting on the front steps, not able to stay in the same room as them anymore.

"Killua?" I look up to see Kurapika standing in front of me. "Is everything alright?"

"I told you I'm fine." I mutter, looking away. I hear him sigh and sit down next to me.

"You're still having a hard time, aren't you?" I grit my teeth and keep quiet.

He called a few months ago about the meetup and I made the mistake of venting. I was angry that I had to hear about this from Kurapika instead of Gon and ended up voicing my frustrations about Gon leaving me in the dust. I don't know why I told Kurapika of all people. But I was having a bad day and snapped. _Great, now I get to be his charity case._

"You know, it's okay to feel sad, Killua. Gon's your best friend. You miss him."

"I don't need you treating me like a kid." I snap. The blond sighs again.

"It's been such a long time since we first met, hasn't it?" I stay silent. "Back then, I had no intention of making friends. I wanted to avenge my clan. That's it. But then Leorio and Gon showed up. And then you showed up. You've all helped me so much-"

"Why are you telling me this?" I look at him impatient.

"Because… I never see any of you. You've been with Alluka, Gon found his dad, Leorio's a doctor now, and I've been trying to find my clan's eyes. We've all been working to achieve our goals. But that doesn't mean that we aren't friends anymore. Things change and we just need to accept them." I frown.

"That's not the problem." Kurapika looks surprised and I look away to avoid his eyes.

"Then what is it?"

"It's just…" My thoughts are swimming and I'm not used to telling anyone what I'm thinking. I even keep most things from Alluka. I've been trained to hold back and it isn't exactly easy de-programing assassin training.

"Just what? You can tell me, Killua." He's so patient and kind that it's sickening. I sigh, hiding under my bangs.

"He doesn't need me anymore." I mumble.

"What makes you say that?" There's a hint of confusion in his voice.

"I was only there to help him find Ging. I was only ever there for that. Once he found him, he had no reason to be my friend. I mean, even though I'm the one who left, I feel like I'm the one who got left behind. He's going on all of these great fun adventures with his dad. He's laughing and playing video games and making new friends without me. He never calls or wants to meet up. This is the first time in two years I've seen him. And one of the first times I've heard from him. I'm… nothing to him anymore. Illumi was right, I can't have friends." I hug my knees, keeping my eyes down.

"Killua." I keep looking down. "Killua, look at me." I hear him sigh again.

"I know it's stupid. But you have people and friends that you see. Leorio has colleagues and friends. Gon has Ging and whoever he meets along the way… I know I have Alluka, but I just feel so… alone."

"Killua, you will always have us. Always. No matter where we are, you're always welcome to stay with us. Okay?" I nod, still looking down. "I'm going to go back inside. Are you going to be okay out here?" I nod again. He squeezes my right shoulder and I hear him get up, opening the door and going inside.

"What's wrong with me lately…" I tighten the grip on my knees, curling into a tighter ball. I feel like I'm breaking, like my entire training is ebbing away.

I hear something behind me, pebbles shifting under someone's shoes. I don't bother moving. _It's probably just Kurapika again, checking up on me like I'm a baby._ But I feel a sharp pain in the back of my neck and slowly slump over, feeling my vision blur. I can see feet step in front of me before my vision goes black.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

(Gon POV)

"Where'd Killua go? I had another game I wanted to show him!" I frown looking around. I hadn't noticed him leave. "Hey, where's Kurapika?" I ask even more confused. Leorio looks up from the newspaper he'd started reading.

"Killua went outside, Kurapika left to see what was up." He looks at his watch, frowning. "They've been gone awhile, though."

Just then the door opens and Kurapika walks back in looking lost in thought. He shakes his head and smiles at us.

"All done with your game already?"

"I was waiting for Killua. Is he okay?" I start feeling worried, not knowing why my best friend's been acting so weird. The blond faltered a bit before smiling again.

"He's fine. He's just getting some air. He'll be back in soon." I frown knowing he's hiding something. _Is something wrong with, Killua? Why didn't he say anything?_ I jump up and start walking toward the door.

"I'm gonna go get him then."

"Gon, wait-"

I open the door and see nothing. No Killua. No one. My frown deepens when I turn around to face my friends again.

"Kurapika, didn't you say Killua was out here? Did he go for a walk instead?" Kurapika tenses and walks past me, looking around.

"He was just here…" I feel my heart drop without quite knowing why. He looks back at me before going back into the apartment and dialing a number on his cell phone, all of us watching him wondering what's going on. "Damn it…" he seethes, hanging up the phone.

"Kurapika, what's going on? What happened out there?" Leorio asks, getting up from the couch along with Alluka. Ging's now standing as well, an intense look in his eyes. The blond just shakes his head.

"It's probably nothing…" He sighs looking towards the door. "He's been upset about something. But I'm sure that it's nothing."

"Is that why he's been acting so weird? Why didn't he say anything?" I frown. "And why would he just leave? Alluka's still here."

"He probably just went on a walk like you said before." Leorio suggests, trying to ease the tension. He pats Alluka's head soothingly. "He'll be back soon, I bet."

I tense suddenly remembering something. _That scent…._ I run back to the door, throwing it open again.

"Gon? What is it?" Ging asks behind me. I ignore him and sniff around, trying to catch that scent again. My eyes widen.

"Nobunaga..."

"What?" Kurapika tenses near me and I can feel his aura building in hatred.

"It's the Troupe." I mutter, feeling angry. _Why are they back? Why now? Why did they take Killua?_

"That makes no sense! Why would the Troupe take Killua?" Leorio stands facing us, voicing one of my countless questions.

"Because I killed Uvogin and Pakunoda. I sealed Chrollo's Nen. And now they're getting even." Leorio gasps.

"You don't mean-"

"They're planning on killing Killua." Kurapika growls. I clench my fists so hard that blood drips on the floor.

"Something still isn't right! Why now? It's been over two years. Why didn't they try something earlier?"

"Maybe they were just buying time or holding on to some hope that Chrollo could still be their leader. Maybe they just moved because Killua's guard was down. Who cares, Leorio! He's gone and they've made their move-"

"Look, I'm just trying to figure out what's going on here. Cut me some-"

"What's there to figure out?!" The two have been getting louder and Alluka runs to my side, hugging me. I clench my teeth getting more fired up.

"Will someone please explain to me what exactly is going on?" Ging cuts in, looking alarmed. Kurapika and Leorio finally grow quiet.

"The Phantom Troupe has Killua." I say, my voice shaking. My dad's eyes widen.

"Wait, _that_ troupe? Wait a minute." He looks at Kurapika, " _You_ killed two of their members?" The younger nods.

"And incapacitated their leader… It's a long story." _And we'd waste too much time getting him caught up._ "But now Killua's missing and one of the remaining members was here. We can only assume that they've decided to take revenge of some sort." Ging nods, still looking out of the loop. Alluka tightens her grip on me.

"Gon?" She whimpers and I look down in her blue eyes, _Killua's eyes_. I flinch a bit.

"Yeah, Alluka?" I fight to keep calm, not wanting to worry her any more than she already is.

"Please bring back my big brother." Her lip trembles and I feel my heart sink even more, "Please…" I look at my friends and my dad before looking back at her, determined.

"Don't worry. I'll bring him back no matter what." The small girl smiles and hugs me tightly, obviously feeling a little better.

"Thank you, Gon!" I smile back, wrapping my arms around her. When I look up again, the others look like they're not about to let me go anywhere. I sigh and pull away.

"Alluka, why don't you go watch tv for a while, okay?" She frowns but nods.

"'Kay." She walks to the other room, disappearing from sight. As soon as she's gone I'm bombarded with yelling.

"What are you thinking promising her that?"

"Right, so you're just going to waltz in and bring him back?"

"You can't even use Nen anymore! That's suicide!"

Smoke comes from my ears as I try to process the load of questions being yelled at once. The three continue to yell and give me reasons not to go before I've finally had enough. _I don't care if it's suicide, I'm bringing him back!_

"Shut up!" They abruptly stop, obviously not expecting the outburst. "Stop telling me why I shouldn't go! Killua is my best friend, I'm not going to just leave him! Not after all we've been through! He risked a lot to help me when I almost died so he deserves this much, at least." I whisper the last part, realization hitting. "I haven't been a good friend. He needs me right now. So I can't abandon him. Not when it matters most." Leorio sighs and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Of course not. We all want to save Killua. I have every intention of doing so. But you can't go rushing in blindly. We need a plan if we're going to get him back safely."

"He's right. We can't let our emotions get the best of us. We need to be calm. For Killua's sake." Kurapika looks at Leorio sheepishly, "I'm sorry for getting so angry." The doctor just shook his head.

"You have every right to be angry. Believe me, I'm pissed. But blowing off steam isn't going to save our friend." I look at Leorio admiringly. _I never thought_ he _would be the calm one._

"So, what do we do then?" I ask, looking from one to the other.

I come up with different ideas but all of them would probably end with one of us dead. Killua was always the better one at coming up with plans. I frown, steam coming out of my ears again as I desperately try to think of something. I open my eyes to see my two friends looking just as frustrated. We could track them, but that could just be a trap. And even if we did make it there, we wouldn't have any idea what would be waiting for us. I try to remember what Leorio and Kurapika did the last time that the Troupe had captured Killua and I. _That was when Kurapika made the deal to trade back Chrollo and when he sealed off his Nen… That's it!_

"Kurapika!" I yell a little too loudly judging by the winces of my friends and dad.

"Yes? What is it? Did you come up with something?" He looks wary but hopeful.

"Mhm! I think so! Do you remember when the Troupe had Killua and I before?" Ging opens his mouth to say something but Kurapika cuts him off.

"Yes, what about it?" He asks, curious.

"You talked to them on the phone! And made a deal! Could we do that again?" I ask, hopeful. Leorio grins excitedly and Kurapika's eyes widen before dimming again.

"In theory, yes. But I used Uvogin's phone to call them back then. Not my own. And I didn't think to program the number before turning the phone over to the Hunter's Association." My heart sinks.

"That would be a shame, if the Hunter's Association actually had it." Leorio smirks and we both turn to stare at him.

"What do you mean, Leorio?" I frown, not understanding.

"Yeah, I gave it to you to turn over to them over a year ago. Remember? _You_ said there was no point in having it anymore since they'd vanished."

"I know," Leorio pulls out his briefcase, "But I started thinking about it. What if something happened and we ended up needing it? You'd finally started to get your mind off of them so I decided not to tell you." He pulls out a phone and feel a smile pulling across my face. Kurapika looks like he can't decide between being mad at our friend or being relieved by a chance to save Killua. He reaches out, taking the phone.

"I'll yell at you for keeping this from me later. For now, thank you." He looks at me, "And thank you for coming up with a plan, Gon. Let's hope that it works."

"Enough with the 'thank you's and let's get Killua back." Leorio grins at both of us. I nod and Kurapika takes a breath before making the call.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

(Killua POV)

_Pain. So much pain._ My arms are heavy and I can't move them. My eyes feel glued shut. In short, I'm screwed. I strain to hear something _anything_ that can tell me where I am. Instead, all I hear is the persistent dripping coming from somewhere nearby. I try to keep from groaning as the pain gets stronger- ringing from my ears to every part of my body. Using every bit of strength I have, I manage to open my eyes.

I look around from where I lay on the ground, taking in my surroundings: the room is small, a cell that looks like something in my hell-hole of a home on Kukuroo mountain; there aren't any windows and the only _real_ light is coming from the gap under the door. If it weren't for my training, I wouldn't be able to see anything at all. My face is in a puddle and it takes me a few minutes to realize that it's blood, possibly mine. I try to move my face away, but I barely have the strength to keep my eyes open.

The door opens and I squint at the bright light shining in from the hall. I see a familiar silhouette walking towards me.

"Ah, so you're finally awake. You know, for an assassin you don't seem very tough." I frown, my head swimming. He laughs, pushing me onto my back using his foot. I flinch at the pain but am glad that I can see better. I tense when I finally concentrate on my assailant. _Nobunaga._ He smirks, letting out another laugh. "Don't get any bright ideas. We didn't want a repeat of the last time we had you and your little friend so we broke your arms and legs. You're not going anywhere, kid." _So that's why I can't move._ I grit my teeth.

"What do you want with me?" My breath catches in my throat, "Where are the others? I swear, if you hurt them-"

"Relax, I didn't touch them." He still has that disgusting smirk on his face, "It's just you here. And I'm willing to bet that no one's coming to save you. They probably didn't even notice when you disappeared." I feel myself flinch and make an effort to keep my eyes hardened. _That's not true. They'll come for me… But do I want them to? Do I really want them getting involved with the Troupe again and putting themselves in danger…because of me?_

Nobunaga must be getting tired of me not reacting because his smirk vanishes. He takes the heel of his shoe, pressing it in my left side. I stare at him defiantly. He slowly adds more pressure before slamming it down, crashing my ribs. I clench my teeth, groaning in pain, tears burning my eyes. That smirk returns on his face full-force.

"Be as brave as you want, kid. It doesn't change the fact that you're going to die a painful death and that no one's going to help." I close my eyes, trying to get a grip on the pain of my broken ribs and to not cry like a little baby. "I heard you, you know." I look at him and, if possible, his smirk turned more sickening, "Don't get me wrong, I wasn't eavesdropping. I just happened to hear your little problem with your buddy. Looks like he got bored of you, huh?" I feel my eyes widen. _He's getting in my head. He's just getting in my head._

"Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about! Gon's my best friend, there's nothing wrong!"

"But are you his?" I stop breathing, staring at his maniacal grin. _Yes… Of course I'm his best friend… right?_ I don't answer him, concentrating on keeping the tears in my eyes from falling.

"Nobunaga. I thought the plan was to torture him, not make the little kid cry." A man I recognize as Feitan stands in the doorway, looking bored. "Quit wasting time. We want this done _before_ the chain user suspects something."

"He won't. Why would he suspect anything anyway? Besides, I was just softening the kid up for you." The taller man turns his back to me, facing the younger.

"I don't care what you were doing. Move. You're wasting time." Feitan steps forward and Nobunaga starts to leave.

"Alright, fine." When he gets to the doorway he yells back, "Nice knowing you, kid. I hope those assassins trained you well."

I gulp, shifting my focus to the man now standing over me. He swings an iron rod nonchalantly, just staring at me. I suddenly feel myself sweating under his gaze. Something about it reminds me of Illumi. That bloodlust, devoid of any sign of remorse. His gaze never falters and the anticipation makes my heart hammer in my chest. _Do something, damn it._

I shouldn't have thought that. Because almost immediately after, the rod collides with my broken ribs and I cough up blood. I don't have time to breathe before it collides again and again. My body is shuddering in pain as I gasp for breath, my vision being blocked by black spots. Each time the rod connects to my side, my ribs crack further until I feel like there is nothing left of them. I groan in pain, blood bubbling up in my throat and I can't breathe. _Great, I'm going to drown in my own blood._ A foot collides with my face, knocking it to the side. Blood pours from my mouth and onto the floor. I gasp for breath, feeling lightheaded.

"It's so boring torturing someone who can't move. I tried telling that idiot to just let me deal with you myself but he insisted on breaking your arms and legs. Oh well, I guess it can't be helped. Just make sure you don't drown yourself, okay? It'd be a really pathetic way to go." Feitan tossed the bloody rod, catching it before walking to my other side. "Of course it'll bother me if I break one side of your rib cage and not the other." And suddenly the rod is back with a vengeance on the right side of my rib cage. I let out a gargled scream before my vision turns black and I feel myself pass out.

…..

I moan in pain, only managing to open my left eye this time. I guess my right one is swollen shut. My body is surrounded by a warm puddle of blood and somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder how long I was out for. My body screams in pain as I roll over onto my back, seeing Nobunaga leaning against the wall.

"Huh, so I guess Feitan was telling the truth. He really didn't kill you." He shrugs as if he doesn't really care. "Not really sure if that's good news for you or not considering that just means you'll be suffering a little while longer." I try my hardest to glare at him, scraping up whatever pride I have left. _Milluki would think this was pretty funny. He'd sure get an awful lot of pleasure in seeing me like this._ I jump at the sound of a shrill ringtone, my body screaming in agony over the movement.

"Nobunaga here." The man answered the phone, before raising his eyebrows in surprise. "I didn't expect you to be calling, chain user." My heart stops and I struggle to hear what was happening on the other end. I resist the urge to groan in frustration finding that I can only hear muffled yelling. "Yeah, your little friend is here. Would you like to talk to him?" My head swims and I try hard not to let my tormenter see me look hopeful. He looks smug, walking over to me, holding the phone by my ear.

"Killua? Killua! Are you okay? Are you hurt?" _Kurapika_ … I feel a longing in my heart. _My friends… I can't let them come here… They'll get hurt and I can't let anything happen to them…_ "Killua, answer me!" I open my mouth, struggling to form words around the rawness in my throat.

"K-Kurapika…" It comes out raspy and quiet and I pray that the boy can hear me. My throat is flaming and I start coughing into the phone.

"Killua! What did they do to you? We're going to come get you! You'll be okay!" Kurapika sounds terrified and I feel immense guilt over causing him to worry. I can hear Gon yelling something in the background and my eyes burn with tears.

"N-No. D-Don't come h-here. I-It's not safe-" I let out a scream as Nobunaga steps on my hand, breaking it, as he rips the phone from my ear. I can hear a faint yell from the phone.

"Shut it, kid." He glares at me before the smug looks returns as he talks into the phone again. "Oh don't worry. We were just having a little fun. You know, he's quite the entertaining house guest." He pauses and the yelling on the phone gets louder. "Don't bother. He's barely hanging on as it is and I'd like to think that we aren't _complete_ monsters. It would be better just to put him out of his misery, don't you think?" I shudder, part of me wanting it to be over soon if that's the Troupe's plan anyway. Nobunaga sighs into the receiver. "Do what you want, but I promise you that he'll be long dead by the time you get here." He hangs up the phone before looking back at me. "Well, what's it going to be, kid? Quick death? Or would you rather wait it out until your friends get here so they can watch?"

I clench my teeth, trembling, watching as he walks closer to me. _Maybe it would be better to get it out of the way. They can't watch. No way._ He smirks, pulling me up off of the ground by my hair and I try desperately not to cry out. _Yeah, it'll be better to just let him do it._

"You're pathetic. I can't see why they care so much." _What do you mean they care? They would get over it if I died._ "And that annoying runt friend of yours, yelling about tearing me to shreds if I even think about touching you again. If he only knew the shape you're in." _Gon? That's right, he would care. No matter what I think, he would care. And he would be crushed if I decided not to fight anymore. And what about Alluka? Who would take care of her if not me?_ A hand grabs my throat and I choke as he continues to squeeze, my eyes widening. _I don't want to die._ My vision gets blurry and I force my non-broken hand to clutch at his arm weakly, pleading with him to stop.

_I don't want to die!_

Nobunaga sighs and lets go of my throat, and I drop to the ground coughing. I heave and gasp, holding my throat. I look up just in time to see the man's shoe collide with my face, my vision going black again.

_Gon, Kurapika, Leorio… Help me…_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

(Gon's POV)

I watch as Kurapika calls Nobunaga phone. He looks at me sternly, putting a finger to his lips and I feel myself get annoyed. _Don't tell me to be quiet! My best friend is in trouble!_ I almost say something but I see Kurapika get tense and I hold my breath.

"Nobunaga. Where is Killua? Are you the one who took him?" His voice is raised and his eyes are burning red. This is one of the few times that I've seen the blond anything but calm. There's a pause and I strain to hear what's going on, groaning in frustration when I can't hear anything. I feel Ging put a hand on my shoulder and I resist the urge to pull away while Leorio paces around. Kurapika clenches a fist, "Shut up and answer me. Do you have Killua?" His eyes widen and I think he looks relieved. "Yes, let me talk to him!"

"Kurapika, what's going on? Is Killua okay?" Leorio stops pacing, frozen in place. The blond puts a finger to his lips again, looking anxious.

"Killua? Killua! Are you okay? Are you hurt?" My heart jumps in my chest and I pull away from Ging, racing to stand near the phone. Leorio does the same thing and Kurapika looks panicked, backing up and yelling into the phone, "Killua, answer me!" My face pales. _Is he okay?!_

I don't hear anything but Kurapika seems to calm a little, though he's still trembling. It scares me to see him reacting the way he is. It scares me that I can't hear my best friend. It scares me that I have no idea what's going on.

"Killua! What did they do to you? We're going to come get you! You'll be okay!" I feel my eyes burn with tears. _He's hurt. He's hurting and I can't help him._

"Kurapika, give me the phone! Let me talk to him! Killua!" I try to yell into the phone before getting pushed away by my older friend, receiving a glare. We're fighting over the phone when we hear a scream coming from it. I feel sick, my eyes widening as I stare at it. _I've never EVER heard Killua scream like that._ Fury flares throughout my body and I rip the phone from Kurapika's hand, yelling into it.

"KILLUA!" I clench my teeth when I hear Nobunaga tell Killua to "shut it."

"Oh don't worry. We were just having a little fun. You know, he's quite the entertaining house guest." I have to concentrate to keep from crushing the phone in my hand, hearing the smirk in his voice.

"You bastard! I swear, if you even _think_ about touching him again, I'll tear you to shreds!" I growl into the phone. I'm aware in the back of my mind that I'm using _Gyo_ in my clenched fist.

"Don't bother. He's barely hanging on as it is and I'd like to think that we aren't _complete_ monsters. It would be better just to put him out of his misery, don't you think?" My eyes fill with tears, picturing the boy I care about more than anything dead.

"I don't care! I'm going to save him! I-I'm going to bring him back, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!" I hear a sigh on the other end and for once the man doesn't sound cocky. He sounds almost tired.

"Do what you want, but I promise you that he'll be long dead by the time you get here." The call ends and the hand holding the cell phone is shaking. _He'll be long dead…_

"Gon," I look up and see my older friends struggling to hold in their emotions. I look from Leorio, who looks like he's about to explode, to the Kurta in front of me. His eyes are brighter than I've seen them, "How well do you know Nobunaga's scent?" My eyes harden.

"Pretty well." _He wants me to track him._

"Think you could track them?"

"Of course. It may be difficult, but I can do it." _I can't let him down._

"Now wait just a minute!" I inwardly groan, hearing Ging speak up, stepping in between us, "What happened to not going in blindly?"

"We don't exactly have the luxury of time anymore. We have to move quickly." Kurapika calmly answers. Ging shakes his head.

"There is _no_ way I'm going to just stand back and let my son walk into the Phantom Troupe's lair. That's suicide and it's stupid." Leorio steps up, practically in Ging's face.

"Oh, right. Because you've cared about Gon's safety in the past! That's why you sent him into a death trap video game and led him on a wild goose chase!"

"First of all, Greed Island isn't a video game technically. It's in the real world." Leorio rolls his eyes about to say something but Ging interrupts him, "Second of all, I _do_ care about his safety. That's why I've done what I've done in the past. To keep make him stronger so he'll be safe. Look, I know you don't want to think this, but the kid is probably already dead. There's no point in throwing your lives away just to find-"

" _SHUT UP!_ " I punch Ging in the face, clenching my teeth. "Killua is _not_ dead! We're going to save him! Killua isn't just some kid. He's family. Maybe you don't understand what it's like to risk everything for someone you love, but it's just something you're supposed to do. If Killua dies…" I choke a bit, tears freely streaming down my cheeks, "He just can't. I can't lose him."

"Gon-" Ging reaches a hand out and I swat it away before wiping my tears.

"No. Leorio, Kurapika and I are going to get Killua. You stay here with Alluka. Killua wouldn't be happy if we left her alone." Ging looks like he wants to say something before sighing and nodding.

"Alright, fine. But promise me you'll come back safe." I nod, done wasting time. He looks to Leorio and Kurapika, "You two keep him safe. He can't use _Nen_. Protect him." They both nod as well.

"He's in good hands. Now let's go, you guys." Leorio grins throwing an arm around Kurapika who snaps out of his angered daze, looking confused. I smile a little, though still a mix of terrified and furious.

"Right! Let's get Killua back!" I turn away from my dad and walk towards the door, flinging it open. Leorio and Kurapika right behind me.

I sniff around like before, searching for the scent of either my friend or his captor. I clench my fists when I find it, imagining the older man grabbing Killua. I nod to my friends before running down the street, following the scent. We've been running for over three hours and my legs are killing me. But I can't stop. I won't stop. Not until I've found my friend.

I'm running so fast that I can't breathe. Kurapika and Leorio are calling me, I know, but I still can't stop. How could I be so stupid? After all of the times that Killua was there for me, I abandoned him. When he needed me most, I wasn't there. And now he's in trouble. Killua, the indestructible former assassin, could be dead. How could I have been so stupid?

"Damn it…" I lost the scent. I look around frantically, giving my friends time to catch up. Kurapika's eyes are a bright red, as they've been for the past few hours. Leorio looks a healthy mixture of worry and determination.

"Which way, Gon?" Leorio asks. Though he's the calmest of the trio, his voice trembles. I close my eyes so I can concentrate, focusing on the scent of my friend. The misty night air makes it hard to track him. But I feel a fragment of a smile reach my lips as I point North East and open my eyes.

"That way."

"Well let's go then. We don't have time to wait around." Leorio smirks confidently and starts running, gripping the ever-present briefcase. I grin and follow with Kurpika. _Hold on, Killua. I'll bring you back. Just keep holding on._

After another few hours and six direction changes, we end up at an old warehouse, a cliché that I'm sure Killua would laugh at if he wasn't on the receiving end of this situation. Though I can't sense their _Nen_ , I know that this is the place. The Troupe is here. And so is Killua. I start to walk forward before a hand grabs my shoulder. I look back at my two companions.

"Gon, I'm going in. You two hang back." I open my mouth but Kurapika holds up a hand to stop me, "Let me finish. Your dad was right. You can't use _Nen_. You can't fight. We'll need you to help Killua in your own way. By being his best friend and being there for him. But you can't do that if you get yourself killed before we get to him. Stay with Leorio. When we know Killua's safe, Leorio, you treat his injuries. Gon, we'll need you to comfort him and just…be you, alright?" I frown, thinking it over. _He's right. If I die before I get to Killua, everything will be ruined. My best friend will either be totally wrecked or dead._ I sigh looking at Leorio for help. He looks slightly annoyed that he can't be the first one in, but understanding. I finally look down, begrudgingly nodding.

"Fine. But if something happens, we're coming in." Kurapika falters and looks at me and Leorio hesitantly.

"Okay. Fine." He takes a breath and turns around facing the door, "Be safe." He walks towards the door, opening it and disappearing inside. _Please let Killua be okay. Please let us be able to get him home._ I look at Leorio and he turns to face me.

"We'll wait five minutes. Then we're going in. I don't trust him alone with the Troupe." I nod, getting ready. _Don't worry, Killua. We're coming._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

(Kurapika POV)

I hold my breath, walking into the old warehouse and closing the door behind me. _There's no way those two are going to stay out of this._ I sigh, knowing that I don't have much time before they'll come barging in. It's dark and musky, and I can sense the _Nen_ of some of the Troupe members in the next room. I feel my chains materialize around my hand for the first time in a long time. I take another breath. _Calm down, Kurapika. Going in ready for a fight could put Killua in more danger._ I will the chains away and try to calm my already red eyes.

"Nobunaga! I'm here. Now where's Killua?" I yell out as calmly as possible, looking around the room. My head snaps toward another doorway when I hear a voice. _Nobunaga._

"Chain user. Didn't think you'd show up so quickly." I clench my teeth seeing his smirk as he leaned against the door post.

"Where is he?" The chains are back before I can stop them and the man before me pauses momentarily, his eyes widening, before the confidence is back.

"Relax. He's right in here. Come on in. He's been waiting patiently." I feel my eyes harden and my fists clench. _Something's wrong._ Nobunaga disappears into the room he came from and I hesitate before following. _This could be a trap. In fact, it definitely is._ But Killua's in there so I have to go no matter what. I've come too far to back out now. As if I have a choice anyway.

As I suspected, some other members of the Troupe are present- most likely for backup in case our meeting turns ugly. Phinks, Feitan, and Machi are spread out, lounging in different areas of the room. They look at me but make no motion to attack. Machi wears a bored expression along with Feitain. Phinks shares the same sickeningly smug look as Nobunaga. I whip around, noticing that Nobunaga is nowhere in sight.

"Where'd that idiot go, anyway?" Phinks mutters looking around as well. Feitan shrugs, his appearance not changing.

"He probably just went to get the kid."

"He's still alive?" Phinks's eyes widen, "Or is it just his body?"

"No, he was still alive when I finished with him. Apparently, Nobunaga gave him the choice to die earlier or to wait to be killed with the chain user as a witness." Feitan shrugs, "Guess he chose the latter."

"Shut up." I finally say and they both look at me. I'm sure that my eyes are bright red by now and I clench my chains in rage. "Stop talking about him like that. You have no right. I won't let you! Killua is- Killua is my friend. He's important to me! And I won't let you hurt him or talk badly about him anymore! Do you understand me?"

"Don't worry, I have him right here." I look to the left side of the room and my heart stops, the contents of my stomach lurching dangerously. Nobunaga is holding a mangled and bloody body by the hair, sword pressed against its neck. _Killua…_

His once white hair is now stained red with blood. He has a black eye with blood and bruises covering most of his face. His body is contorted in a way that isn't natural, his core caved in on itself. _His ribs must be shattered._ His arms and legs dangle lifelessly, bones protruding from the skin. His skin is a mixture of pale white, black and blue- covered in blood and gashes.

"You bastard! How dare you!" I take a step forward before I'm frozen again. Nobunaga digs to sword into Killua's neck and a fresh trickle of blood leaks down his battered skin.

"I wouldn't try anything if I were you. Of course, I can't say it'll changed the outcome. He's a goner no matter what you do or don't do." He smirks, "Sorry, it's nothing personal."

"Why… Why are you doing this? He's just a kid!" I'm shaking and I can't stop. This only fuels the Troupe's amusement.

"Don't get me wrong. It's not like I _like_ killing kids. But an eye for an eye. You're responsible for the deaths of two of our members. It's only fair that we kill someone close to you. Not my fault that you're friends with kids." The sword is pressed deeper and I realize that anything I do is futile.

"KILLUA!" I spin around to see Leorio and Gon running in. As soon as they're in eyeshot of our friend, they skid to a stop. Leorio clutches his mouth, looking as disturbed as I am. Gon, _poor Gon_ , looks completely devastated, his face paling and his eyes flashing between emotions.

…

(Gon POV)

"I told you to wait outside!" Kurapika yells, looking at me and Leorio. But he looks more scared than angry. My eyes wander back to my best friend and my stomach churns. _Those monsters! What did they do to him?_ "Gon! Are you listening to me? You can't use _Nen_. They'll kill you too!" _Too… So he's already given up on saving Killua?_

"We came here to save Killua, didn't we? He's mine and Gon's friend too! So, we aren't going to just stand by!" Leorio yells at Kurapika.

"I know that! But you're putting Gon at risk!"

"You knew that he couldn't use _Nen_ and you dragged him here anyway!" The two continue to argue as I stare at Killua, looking for any sign of life. Nothing.

"I never planned on him actually helping! His job was tracking him!"

"That's low, Kurapika! Forcing him to wait outside? You knew he wouldn't do that!"

"How exactly is saving his life cruel? Forgive me for not wanting to lose someone else!"

Killua is still. So still that I can't see his chest moving to see if he's breathing. I stare at him, trying to block out the arguing of Leorio and Kurapika. Trying to ignore the fact that there are Phantom Troupe members in the same room as me. My entire focus is on Killua, trying desperately to find anything, _anything_ , that could tell me that my friend's still alive. Nobunaga adjusts the sword in his hand and it digs into Killua's neck. _That's it!_ It's subtle, but Killua definitely flinched. It may have just been an reflex, an involuntary movement to escape the pain. But it was movement nonetheless.

"You could at least have told us your plan from the get-go!"

"Right, because you two would have gone along with it willingly-!"

"Killua!" I yell at the boy dangling by his hair in Nobunaga's grasp, his feet dipping into the puddle of his own blood collecting on the ground, "Killua, wake up! We've come to save you! You're safe!" I hold my breath, hoping in vain that he would jerk to life and yell at three of us for taking our sweet time. But Killua stayed unresponsive and Nobunaga let out a laugh.

"Do you seriously think he's in any condition to just 'wake up'? He's done for, kid. Just give it up."

"You don't know Killua like I do. He won't give up!" I turn back to my friend, "Killua, come on! Wake up-!" Feitan appears behind me, pressing a knife to my neck. I stay frozen, feeling the sting of the cold metallic blade against my skin.

"Gon!" Leorio and Kurapika yell behind me. Feitan sighs.

"This is such a pain. I'll kill you _and_ your friend. How's that sound?" I flinch feeling the knife cut into my skin, a drop of blood flowing down my neck.

"Don't touch him!" Kurapika yells and I try my hardest to keep my eyes on Killua despite the cut getting deeper and the pain burning. "Please!"

"Look at it this way. The two of them can be friends in heaven. Don't worry, I'll make it quick." I keep my eyes on Killua, my vision clouding ever so slightly. Something, a flash of color, catches my eye. _Was that-? No. I'm seeing things._ But there it was again. A spark. _Killua?_

In a matter of seconds, Killua erupts in a blue flash of electricity- a string of blue moving up the sword to Nobunaga. The man yelps in pain and drops his sword, along with Killua, onto the ground. Killua's mangled body lays limp on the ground and the warehouse is in chaos. The knife is no longer on the verge of penetrating my skin as Feitan is no doubt in shock. I use the opportunity to break out of his hold, rushing towards my best friend lying in a puddle of blood, ignoring the remaining two Troupe members running over. I take him in my arms, gently shaking him.

"Killua! Killua, wake up!"

"Damn it. That hurt." Nobunaga is rubbing his hand walking over to where I'm kneeling, "Stupid brat." He lifts a leg to kick me only to be punched in the face by Kurapika. I look up to see Kurapika and Leorio both standing on either side of me, protecting me and the boy in my arms.

"I told you monsters not to touch them. You have five seconds to leave before I kill you all." The Kurta in front of us glares daggers at him.

"Do you honestly think I'm afraid of what you'll do? You're outnumbered." Nobunaga recovers from the punch, looking at him in annoyance.

"Five." The man doesn't move. I see movement out of the corner of my eye.

"Nobunaga. Don't be an idiot." Feitan speaks up, walking toward the door.

"You just want to let them go?" Nobunaga looks stunned.

"Four."

"The kid won't make it. We did what we wanted to do. Let's just go."

"He's right. No point in being reckless." Machi stretches and starts to follow Feitan out the door.

"Three."

"What about you, Phinks? You too?" The blond man looks repulsed by the idea of leaving, but stands nonetheless.

"I don't want to back out. We could take 'em, but-"

"Two." Phinks glares at Kurapika for interrupting.

"But it doesn't make sense to take 'em out now. The plan was to make the chain user suffer like we have." He looks at Killua and I and smirks, "So we'll leave and let him deal with the pain of losing a friend. If we kill him, he won't have the chance to let it fester." Nobunaga looks hesitant before nodding.

"Looks like you three get to live another day." With that, both men leave and we're alone. Kurapika sighs and turns to me, quickly kneeling.

"How is he?" I look down at the boy in my arms. Still unresponsive, no trace of life other than the ever so faint breaths leaving his mouth. I struggle to remain strong, the tears burning at my eyes and threatening to spill out.

"Let me have a look." Leorio crouches down, inspecting Killua. He wears a grave expression, getting more dark by the second. He doesn't look at us, eyes trained on the broken hunter, "They're right. He's barely hanging on. And that stunt he just pulled with his aura took even more out of him. I don't know if he would even make it to a hospital." His voice is just a whisper, sounding defeated. I shake my head, refusing to believe it.

"We-We have to try! We have to save him!" Tears fall from my face and onto Killua's. "Killua, please… _please_ come back." Sobs wrack my body, knowing that there isn't a thing I can do. _I feel so useless. Killua is going to die and it's all my fault. If I had paid attention. If I had only been there._

"We can try to get him to the nearest hospital, but I'm not sure if they can do anything. It's a miracle he's made it this long." Leorio whispers, trying to think of something, doubt overshadowing any trace of hope.

"He's here because of me…" Kurapika whispers and I look up to see his face soaked in tears, "I'm responsible."

"I tried so hard to become a doctor so that I could save the people I care about… And I still can't do it…"

"W-We can't give up. Killua did everything- everything that he could to save me after I fought Pitou-" My eyes widen and I struggle to blink away the tears, " _That's it!_ " My friends look at me surprised.

"What's it, Gon?" Leorio wipes his own tears that had begun falling. I feel hope burning for the first time since we'd gotten to the hideout.

"Alluka! Killua said that Alluka healed me when I was in the hospital. She could heal him too!" Kurapika looks wary.

"How? And even if she does have the power to heal him, there's no telling whether he'll live long enough for her to get to him." I shakily get up, holding Killua's frail body close.

"We have to try. Leorio, where's the nearest hospital? We can have Alluka and Ging meet us there."

….

I sit in a chair in a room of white- white walls, white curtains, white floors, and a white bed with white sheets. A boy with white skin and white hair lying in that white bed. Machines are attached to him, a steady beeping and the quick rise and fall of his chest are the only signs that he's still alive. Blood still soaks his skin and portions of his hair. His white skin is dusted with angry bruises and casts and bandages coat his body where his fractures and gashes lie.

Killua shouldn't be alive. He shouldn't be breathing. But he's lasted another few hours. Hopefully he can last a few more while we wait for Alluka and Ging to arrive. And hopefully, even then, she can heal him. I don't know how her power works- Killua never told me. He was hesitant to even tell me that she was the one who healed me. But I know that she brought me back to my old self, at least she brought my body back to its old self. And Alluka is my one hope of bringing my best friend back.

So I wait. I wait and I remember. I remember all of the fun that Killua and I had had from the time we met at the Hunter Exam to the time we parted. I remember how stupid I had been, foolishly believing that the world was good and that all was right so long as I had Killua. So long as he was by my side. I remember how I neglected him when Kite was around, and how I neglected him even more when Kite was gone. I remember how I took his friendship for granted and how I threw it away when faced with Pitou. I remember the tears in his eyes when he saw my older form. And, though I don't remember much from the time when I was clinging to life, I remember hearing his sobs. After I was healed, I remember how he acted like all was right in the world, even though I had broken him. I remember the night that he told me he was leaving, how desperately I wanted to stop him, to hold him down until he took it back. I remember how I let him go because I thought I didn't deserve a friendship like his. How I could never bring myself to call him after all of this time, because I didn't know what to say. What _do_ you say to someone who you destroyed? Nothing, that's what. Because when you destroy someone, "I'm sorry" just isn't good enough.

I flinch when I hear a knock on the door. I look over and see Kurapika smiling softly at me as he walks in and takes a seat next to me. His smile vanishes when he looks at the boy lying on the bed. We both blame ourselves for this. Kurapika blames himself for getting us involved with the Phantom Troupe to begin with. I blame myself for breaking him. Though it makes sense for Kurta to blame himself for Killua's physical destruction, he would never have let that physical destruction happen if not for my emotional assault on him. We have both destroyed a person that we care about so much.

It's just over an hour before Leorio bursts in the door with a terrified Alluka and a solemn Ging. Alluka runs straight to me, looking at her brother with tears streaming down her cheeks. I flinch, remembering the promise that I had made to her. _"Don't worry. I'll bring him back no matter what."_ Rather than bringing him home, I brought him to a hospital, broken.

"A-Alluka, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Y-You have to heal him. You have to heal him like you healed me. P-Please." I feel the words leaving my mouth before I can stop them. Alluka's tear-filled eyes widen as she tears them from her brother and looks at me.

"Heal him?"

"Please, Alluka! Please heal him!" I choke out through sobs, wanting so badly to be strong for her. But my heart hurts. Alluka frowns, looking in thought. "P-Please…" She smiles suddenly and nods.

"'Kay!" I blink at the sudden change in her demeanor. _It's that easy?_ I glance at Kurapika on the other side of me and he looks stunned as well.

"H-Huh? You can heal him just like that?!" Leorio comes over, intrigued. The girl nods and takes on a sudden change in appearance that gives me chills. Her eyes and mouth become nothing but black masses. She looks at me and I feel a shiver go through me.

"Hi, Gon! Killua calls me Nanika. I'm happy to meet you! Alluka and Killua talk a lot about you." Her voice is different but otherwise she seems very much like the girl from before. _Wait… Killua talks about me? A lot?_ Another tinge of guilt hits my heart.

"Um, hi, Nanika. Do you- Are you the one that can heal Killua?" She smiles and nods.

"Yup! I'll heal him now." She turns and slowly touches a hand to Killua's arm. There's a bright light and I'm entranced, vaguely aware of the alarmed gasps coming from the room's other occupants. The light fills the room and I feel a powerful aura, but one that is calming. One that is warm and bright. After some time, the light dies down and I'm amazed to see Killua looking exactly how he did this morning with the exception of the blood stains in his hair and stains on his bandages. The girl beside me turns to me, "Did I do a good job?"

"Y-Yes, you were amazing!" I'm still in shock that it was that simple, and Nanika smiles.

"Pat my head?" I blink, a little taken aback from the request, but comply, smiling softly and patting her head. She smiles and leans against me, yawning, her features turning back to those of Alluka's. "I'm tired…" I smile a little, rubbing her head.

"Get some sleep then. You did a good job." I pick her up and carry her to the other bed in the room. As soon as she's asleep, I look at my friends and dad. All of them are in stunned silence, looking from Alluka to her brother. As I look back to Killua, he stirs.


	7. Chapter 7 (Final)

Chapter 7

(Killua POV)

                _Gon… I’m sorry. This is my fault. Please don’t come after me.._

                My entire body is heavy, though there’s surprisingly no more pain. Well, there’s no physical pain. Or maybe I’m in so much pain that I don’t feel it. I don’t even know anymore. Everything is numb- a foggy weightlessness that I can’t shake. I can’t get a grip on reality no matter how hard I try. Am I alive? Am I dead? It doesn’t hurt so I’m guessing that I’m not in hell, as least. I feel dizzy, despite my eyes being glued shut and there’s a feeling of vertigo that won’t go away. I know I was with the Phantom Troupe. They were torturing me, right? So I should be in pain. At least a slight pain, shouldn’t I? So why am I just trapped in this state of nothingness? Is this what comes after death? Just… nothingness? And what about Gon? Alluka? Kurapika and Leorio? Are they okay? Are they safe?

                “Killua, come on! Wake up!” I barely hear something faint break through the darkness. _Gon?_

                “I’ll kill you and your friend. How’s that sound?” I hear something else break through, something that terrifies me. Is it one of the Troupe members? Are they talking about Gon? “Look at it this way. The two of them can be friends in heaven. Don’t worry, I’ll make it quick.”

 _Gon! No!_ He can’t die because of me! I snap and electricity surges through the nothingness. It’s only for a few seconds or so, but I can feel my aura shoot out with strength I never knew that I had. When it fades, I feel like I’m falling before hitting the ground. The pain is back with a vengeance and I’m back in a warm puddle of blood. I’m getting real sick and tired of the taste and smell of my own blood. I can’t open my eyes, but I can hear it- Gon’s voice again, and I feel a sense of relief knowing that he’s okay.

                “Killua! Killua, wake up!” Suddenly I’m being held, cradled against someone’s chest. _Gon’s_ chest. If it were any other situation, I would feel my face heating up right about now. But at the moment, all I feel is relief and warmth, despite all of the pain. I can hear others talking, but I try to concentrate only on Gon. Only on his breaths. Only on his touch. Right now, he is my anchor, keeping me alive.

_Gon, please, don’t let me go._

“We-We have to try! We have to save him!” I hear Gon crying, something I never like hearing. I feel something wet hit my face and it takes me a few seconds to realize that the wetness is his tears, “Killua, please… please come back.”

 _I’m trying, Gon. Please don’t cry._ There’s more talking and I recognize Kurapika and Leorio’s voices. I try not to focus on too much at once, bringing myself back to concentrating on Gon’s warmth.

“W-We can’t give up. Killua did everything- everything that he could to save me after I fought Pitou-!“ I inwardly flinch at the memories. I don’t like remembering what happened all that time ago. I don’t like remembering what Gon turned into. “ _That’s it!_ ” Huh? What’s he talking about? “Alluka! Killua said that Alluka healed me when I was in the hospital. She could heal him too!”

 _No! No, Gon! You can’t do that! You don’t know how Alluka’s power works! What if she asks you to do something you can’t do?_ I want so badly to wake up. I want to tell them to forget it. To just leave Alluka out of this. But my body won’t listen to anything my brain’s telling it to do. Suddenly I’m being lifted up and I feel myself panic.

“We have to try. Leorio, where’s the nearest hospital? We can have Alluka and Ging meet us there.”

_Please, no…_

The trip to the hospital is mostly quiet, though I can’t vouch for most of it. It only takes a few minutes before I’m back into the nothingness, trying with every fiber of my being to cling onto Gon’s comforting voice.

“Please, Killua, just hold on a while longer. It’ll be okay. Everything will be okay.”

………………………………………….

                My eyes are heavy but I’m finally able to will them to open, the dizzy weightlessness finally gone. My vision is blurred and I can’t make much out other than white. There’s an annoying beeping from somewhere near me and a rattling sound coming from (most likely) a light fixture. I’m surprised to discover that I’m not in any pain at all this time. In fact, I feel perfectly normal- other than a heavy grogginess. While I’m busy trying to blink away the blurriness of sleep, I see a flash of green to my right. I look over and see my best friend gradually coming into focus.

                “G-Gon?” I wince at the sound of my own voice- hoarse and broken. Gon’s lip trembles and he hugs my laying form awkwardly, crying into my shoulder. I tense, surprised, but ease an arm around him gently. “I-It’s okay. I’m fine.” Gon pulls back, a fire in his eyes, and I tense again alarmed by his anger.

                “Don’t say that!”

                “What?” I blink, confused. This seems to only fuel his fury.

                “Don’t say you’re fine! Y-You could have died! You almost did…” He looks down and I feel immense guilt, “Look, I know you went through a lot back when I was in the hospital. But that doesn’t mean you can get back at me like this, okay? I was scared!” I feel a laugh bubbling up from my chest before I can stop it. The boy’s confusion only causes more laughter to ensue, until I can’t breathe and my cheeks ache from smiling. “What’s so funny!” He demands.

 I struggle to maintain some bit of sanity, gasping for breath. I try to answer but the truth is, I absolutely no idea what to say. It’s _not_ funny what the Troupe did to me. It’s _not_ funny that my friends had to be scared because of me. And it’s _definitely_ _not_ funny the hell that Gon had put me through two years ago. So why am I laughing? Out of bitter irony that I had managed to hurt Gon too? Maybe because of the look on his face? Because Gon might _actually_ have thought that I was getting revenge? Right, like I had _meant_ to get abducted and planned the whole thing. No matter why the hell I am laughing, here I am, clutching my stomach, with tears rolling down my face. And all the while, Gon is getting madder- which is freaking hysterical. That is, until I get the wind knocked out of me by a very pissed Gon sitting on my chest.

“What the _hell_ is so funny!” I snicker a little, trying to calm what ever laughs are threatening to bubble up out of my mouth again. I grin at him, still not sure what to say and the pissed look on his face eventually morphs into a mixture of confusion, annoyance, and amusement. “You’re so weird, Killua.”

“I know.” I snicker before shoving him off of me. He lands on his feet with ease and still looks at me puzzled. I raise an eyebrow and tilt my head to the side, “What?” I hear a cough from across the room and grin sheepishly at Kurapika, Leorio, and Ging. “Oh, uh, hey guys.”

“Hey guys? That’s what you have to say after we saved your ass?” Leorio’s eye twitches and I look down feeling the guilt rising again.

“S-Sorry…” I busy myself with the bed sheet as I hear footsteps coming closer. When I feel a person’s presence right next to me, I flinch out of instinct. Instead I feel arms wrap around me in a hug causing me to tense. I look up hesitantly and notice that it’s Leorio. I push back the urge to shove him away in embarrassment and awkwardly hug him back instead.

“You scared the hell out of us, kid. This better not become a reoccurring thing, alright? I don’t want to have to keep saving you.” I can’t tell whether he’s trying to sound annoyed or teasing. Either way he’s failing miserable, relief overshadowing any attempts to give me a hard time.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I should have noticed his presence sooner.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. Besides, I should have sensed him too.” Leorio pulls back and I see Kuripika sitting at the foot of the bed, smiling the patient smile of his. “We were worried because you’re our friend. Not because you did anything wrong.” I nod, feeling a familiar heat rise to my face before I look away, embarrassed. I hear the blond laughing quietly.

“You can’t imagine how relieved we were when Gon told us about your sister being able to heal you. It was something even more incredible actually _seeing_ it happen, though!” Leorio grins and I freeze, panic filling me. My friends look concerned at the shift in mood, “What’s the matter, Killua?”

                “Gon!” I turn to him to find him looking confused.

                “What? Did I do something wrong?” I mentally kick myself for not properly explaining Alluka’s power before- well, for not explaining it _at all_.

                “I..uh..no-“ This is getting nowhere as I try explaining it, “Look- did Alluka ask you anything? Did she ask you to do anything for her?” I ask hesitantly, not really sure that I want to know the answer. I steal a glance at the other bed, noticing the sleeping girl. Gon seems to pause a moment, having the deep-in-thought idiot look he gets when he’s thinking too hard about something.

                “Oh, yeah. She asked me to pat her head.” He scratches the back of his head, looking confused, “It was weird.” _She healed all of my injuries and you thought patting her head was weird?_ I sigh, still wary.

                “Anything else?” The boy shakes his head.

                “No, nothing else! Why?” I let out a huge sigh of relief before noticing everyone looking at me strangely.

                “It’s... complicated. But think of it as equal exchange. Alluka can grant wishes but only if you complete three of her requests. The bigger the wish, the greater the requests. If you can’t complete her requests…” I cringe, reminded of all of the deaths in the past, “well, bad things happen. I’m the only one who’s an exception. Sometimes she asks me to do random things, sometimes nothing at all. Sometimes it’s three requests, others it’s just one. I don’t know why I’m the exception.” I shrug. The others seem to be processing the information quietly. Kurapika’s the first to speak.

                “So why did Alluka only ask Gon to pat her head?” I shrug again, not sure how to answer.

                “I don’t know. Maybe because she knows how important he is to me.” I flush after saying that and steal a glance at Gon’s grinning face. “Sh-Shut up.” He pouts.

                “I didn’t say anything!” I laugh and my friends follow suit. We all stop when we hear the sound of someone clearing their throat. I look over to see Ging walking toward us and my heart sinks. I’d completely forgotten about him.

                “I’m glad you’re okay, Killua. But you guys should probably head back home soon. If the Troupe figures out you’re not dead, they’ll be back.” My heart sinks further. _But I was finally back with Gon._ Gon, however, is just as chipper as always.

                “Okay! Mito-san’s probably missing me anyway.” _Huh?_ Gon turns to me, beaming, “You and Alluka will come with me back to Whale Island, right? We have a lot of catching up to do!” _Again…huh?_

“Mind if we tag along? I’d like to finally this Mito-san you’ve been going on about.” Leorio pipes in and Gon nods happily.

                “Of course! You too, Kurapika!” The blond smiles sheepishly.

                “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to impose.” Gon shakes his head.

                “You wouldn’t be because I’m inviting you! Besides, Mito-san wants to meet you both! And Alluka too-“ Gon turns to me and stops, frowning. “Killua? Are you okay?” My head’s swimming and I’m at a loss.

                “Wait… But I thought you were living with Ging now.” Gon blinks before shaking his head.

                “Nope, I’ve been living with Mito-san since right after we separated. I can’t use _Nen_ anymore and Ging thought it would be better if I went home instead of following him around. Since I can’t defend myself properly. So I’ve been back home. I’ve just been staying with him the past few days until you guys showed up.” I stare at him, processing the information. He frowns waving a hand in front of my face, “Killua?” And again the laughter bubbles up. I can’t breathe, gasping as the laughter overtakes me. Gon groans, “Awh, not again!” Only this time it actually _is_ funny.

                “You-You mean to-to tell me th-that this whole-whole time, you’ve been a-alone?” I barely choke out between laughs. Gon narrows his eyes, frowning.

                “I’ve been with Mito-san! And why do you keep laughing? That’s not funny!”

                “I-It _is_!” I clutch my stomach, laughing at how ironic it all is. “Th-The whole reason I left w-was so that I would i-interfere with y-you and your d-dad! I-I didn’t w-want to be in the way o-or a third wheel! B-But he _ditched_ y-you again and y-you were alone this whole time a-and Alluka and I never h-had to leave in the f-first place!” Gon’s eyes narrow further, clearly not amused.

                “And how is that funny?”

                “B-Because all this time I was s-scared for nothing!” I laugh, more out of relief than anything. Out of amusement of my own stupidity. _Of course Ging wouldn’t be a father to Gon. Of course Gon would have never told me._ Gon’s frown deepens.

                “You were scared? Of what?” The laughter screeches to a halt and I finally calm down, the question hitting a little too close to home. I take a few minutes to answer, trying to get the nerve. Finally I bring myself to look at my friend.

                “Of you leaving me behind…” I mumble, my eyes darting away as I feel self-conscious. Within seconds I’m tackled on the bed with a fire on my cheeks, trying to get the boy off of me.

                “Wh-What the hell, idiot?!”

                “I could never leave you behind! You’re my best friend in the whole world, Killua!” The fire grows worse.

Even still, when he pulls back and looks at me with that goofy grin of his, I can’t help but smile back. I can’t help but think of how stupid I’d been to avoid him all this time. How stupid I’d been to be afraid. Even still, looking into those chocolate eyes of his, so full of life like they’d always been, I can’t help but picture a life back on Whale Island with my best friend- playing games in the forest, fishing and chasing Alluka around with our catch, trying to be quiet late at night while Mito-san is nagging us to go to bed. Even still, I can’t help feeling that I don’t need to run anymore. That I have a reason to be alive. That I’m finally home.

“Yeah, Gon. I know. You’re mind too,” I smile softly, before grinning and flicking his forehead eliciting a whine from my friend, “Let’s go home, okay?”


End file.
